Whenever I am feeling as if the goal I have worked towards is becoming further out of reach through no fault of mine, but because the “system” itself is to blame, the title of this famous novel, Things Fall Apart, always pops into my consciousness, stopping my mind from endless fretting over all the tiny problems I am encountering.
“Things fall apart”, the refrain always in the background as I go about my day trying not to scream at someone on the phone, remaining calm in the face of near catastrophe, scheduling a meeting to deal with problems, emailing and texting and venting with friends and family.
Things fall part: The system is poorly designed.
Things fall apart: People are inherently fallible.
Things fall apart: No one really cares enough to make it work.
Things fall apart: Because it is too difficult to maintain.
Things fall apart: You are too idealistic.
Things fall part: You are too rigid.
Things fall apart: Because you haven’t communicated well enough.
There is no harmony, no pulling together, no common goal.
For the past two years, I have been working towards making a better life for my daughter and other adults with autism.
With the help of another like-minded parent, a plan was developed for a quality residence and day program that would give her the opportunity to have a meaningful fulfilling happy life.
Last June, Lily moved into the residence and in many ways it worked much better than her previous house. She settled in and was happier almost immediately.
Then it became clear that the management was not working out and there was an almost complete change in staff after the first six months. The old symptoms of anxiety began to slowly worsen. Housemates also had problems. Supervisory staff was not responding in a very constructive manner.
Things were falling apart.
After much discussion, plans are in place to start over, to recruit better staff with better
supervision and support.
I am dealing with my feelings of disappointment and anger by scheduling meetings and talking about the original goals. We will try to discover new ways to improve the “system”, to work on the old school mind-set, to revolutionize the way our children and loved ones are living.
” Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;”-William Butler Yeats, The Second Coming
Things fall apart, because the world changes, society changes, needs change as we change.
Change happens.
Life is change.
“You can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs.”
I just have to keep thinking that things fall apart
in order for something better to come through.
This is true for the world at large and how I cope with the horrors of the daily news, just as it is true for all the other barriers and obstacles in my every day life.
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Thanks for another great blog ! Things do fall apart ! This week I had my first appointment with my a new PCP at my health care factory. She requested an X-ray and I complied, while dressing afterwards a large mirror fell off the wall and hit my foot. Painful yes, broken no and fortunately no shattered glass. I was so angry that they had a heavy object so poorly secured in 1) earthquake prone area and 2) a facility where one would presume is about well- being.
But you know what ? Things fall apart ! Anywhere and at anytime, you may never be fully prepared nor be able to prevent these things from happening.
It ruined my day and the next two but it luckily didn’t kill anyone. I’ll enjoy my life until the next thing falls apart.
Thank you! as always for reading and caring, Sharon.
The trick is to “enjoy” life even as things are falling apart, or even, because they are…
You’re right ! “Whoa is me” is a total buzz- kill !
I didn’t say I was good at the trick but I try
I feel you and I will pray for you. You are helping to make a difference. God bless Lily!
Thank you for coming by and reading my blog. I stopped by yours as well. Keep telling your story and I’ll keep trying to tell mine.
Wonderful blog and so very true! Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for reading and commenting Jean. All my best to you.